A course for men

Hello, there,
I'd like to introuduce you to a course specially designed for men (those who share their life with a woman). I hope you find it useful.
With all my understanding.

WICOE
(Women In Charge Of Everything)

Is proud to announce the opening of its
EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
OPEN TO MEN ONLY
ALL ARE WELCOME

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE;
DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK
OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place
Instead of turning the house upside down while screaming -
Open forum


DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS;
DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH;
BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY
AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS;
BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN
YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES
& CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT;
LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG
Individual counsellors available

TRY THIS - IS YOUR MIND GROWING OLD?

DEMENTIA QUIZ. REMEMBER, DON'T LOOK AT THE ANSWERS BEFORE YOU HAVE TRIED!

> > FIRST QUESTION :

> > Y OU ARE A PARTICIPANT IN A RACE. YOU OVERTAKE
> > THE SECOND PERSON. WHAT POSITION ARE YOU IN?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ANSWER : IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE FIRST,
> > THEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG! IF YOU OVERTAKE THE
> > SECOND PERSON AND YOU TAKE HIS PLACE, YOU ARE IN SECOND PLACE!
> >
> > TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
> > NOW ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION,
> > BUT DON'T TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS
> > YOU TOOK FOR THE FIRST QUESTION, OK?
> >
> >
> >
> > SECOND QUESTION :
> > I F YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON, THEN YOU ARE....?
> > (SCROLL DOWN)
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ANSWER : IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE SECOND TO LAST, THEN YOU
> > ARE.....
> > WRONG AGAIN. TELL ME SUNSHINE, HOW CAN YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST
> > PERSON??
> >
> >
> > YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT THIS, ARE YOU?
> >
> > THIRD QUESTION :
> > V ERY TRICKY ARITHMETIC! NOTE:
> > THIS MUST BE DONE IN YOUR HEAD ONLY.
> > DO NOT USE PAPER AND PENCIL OR A CALCULATOR .
> > TRY IT.
> >
> > TAKE 1000 AND ADD 40 TO IT. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000 NOW ADD 30.
> > ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 20 . NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000 .
> > NOW ADD 10. WHAT IS THE TOTAL?
> >
> >
> > SCROLL DOWN FOR THE CORRECT ANSWER.....
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >
> > DID YOU GET 5000 ?
> >
> > THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ACTUALLY 4100 ...
> >
> >
> >
> > IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT, CHECK IT WITH A CALCULATOR!
> > TODAY IS DEFINITELY NOT YOUR DAY, IS IT?
> >
> > MAYBE YOU'LL GET THE LAST QUESTION RIGHT... MAYBE...
> >
> > FOURTH QUESTION :
> >
> > MARY'S FATHER HAS FIVE DAUGHTERS:
> >
> > 1. NANA, 2. NENE, 3. NINI, 4. NONO, AND ???
> >
> > 2. WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FIFTH DAUGHTER?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >
> >
> > DID YOU ANSWER NUNU? NO! OF COURSE IT ISN'T.
> > HER NAME IS MARY! READ THE QUESTION AGAIN!
> >
> >
> >
> > OKAY, NOW THE BONUS ROUND,
> > I.E., A FINAL CHANCE TO
> > REDEEM YOURSELF:
> >
> >
> > A MUTE PERSON GOES INTO A SHOP AND WANTS TO BUY A TOOTHBRUSH.
> > BY IMITATING THE ACTION OF BRUSHING HIS TEETH HE
> > SUCCESSFULLY EXPRESSES HIMSELF TO THE SHOPKEEPER AND THE PURCHASE IS
> > DONE.
> > NEXT, A BLIND MAN COMES INTO THE SHOP WHO WANTS TO BUY A
> > PAIR OF SUNGLASSES; HOW DOES HE INDICATE WHAT HE WANTS?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > IT'S REALLY VERY SIMPLE
> > HE OPENS HIS MOUTH AND ASKS FOR IT...
> > DOES YOUR EMPLOYER ACTUALLY PAY YOU TO THINK??
> > IF SO DO NOT LET THEM SEE YOUR ANSWERS FOR THIS TEST!
> >

Free rice!

Hello everybody,
clic on the link below and use the game. Use the options - geography, Spanish, etc.
Then leave your comments.

www.freerice.com

Hola a todos:
usad el enlace de arriba y jugad. Utilizad las opciones que se ofrecen: geografía, español, etc.
Luego dejad vuestros comentarios.

Intelligence

Hello my old friends,

read this explanation of how a few beers can help improve your intelligence - but don't follow it too strictly!!

Good luck with you That's English exams.

Javier

The Theory of Intelligence
I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this.




'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo; and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

Another joke

Hi there,

Are you OK? Studying a lot? That's good for your neurones.
I have just received an email from my Irish friend about the perfect couple for a man. It is one of those more or less silly jokes that fly around the Internet. Of course, you can change it into the perfect couple for a woman.

I hope you enjoy it.
Good luck in your studies.

Ex-Javier

Five rules for men to follow for a happy life

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other

Freerice.com Learn and give aid

Hello my friends,

How is everything? I hope that you passed your exams and lernt a lot of English in the first term.

I found this web just by chance and I think it might interest you. It is a good idea, because you can practise your English ( at a very high level!) and donate money for the hungry people in the world. The sponsors will pay for the money. You just play.

Don't worry about the level. What is interesting is that you try and think about the examples proposed. They are very tricky, sometimes!

You can practise you vocabulary or choose another subject by clicking "change subject".

Please let me know if you like it.

The address is www.freerice.com

Enjoy your holidays. Merry Christmas and a wonderful year 2010.

Javier

Hello again,

How are you doing with your English? I miss a bit of laughing with you.

Here's a new joke from my Irish friend. I will continue posting jokes of anything interesting for you.

I hope you enjoy it.

Javier

If you have ever testified in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeofficer's credibility.


Q: 'Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?'

A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'

A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'

A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'

A: 'Yes sir, I do.'

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

A: 'Yes sir.'

Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with the same officers?'

A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line, and we think he'll win.

Hello my ex-students,
I hope you are fine and learning a lot of English.
Obviously my blog has lost most of its sense, but I think the links you can find in it can help you. So I have decided to leave it there.
In order for you to have something to laugh at, I am going to post the jokes that I receive from a friend in Ireland.
I hope you enjoy them.
The first is for women, one of those feministic jokes.
Good luck!


Hi Ladies, One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his SweatShirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' Liverpool .'
And they say blondes are dumb...
-----------------------------------------------------------
A couple are lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
-----------------------------------------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour
-----------------------------------------------------------
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh....immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your man from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manuals'
-----------------------------------------------------------

Curso 2009-2010

Estimados alumnos:

este curso tendréis que adaptaros a un nuevo profesor porque yo no sigo en el curso por falta de tiempo.

Aún así, si tenéis alguna duda y queréis preguntarme, seguís teniendo abierto este canal. No dudéis en utilizarlo. El blog seguirá abierto por si hay algo que os sirva, que espero que sí.

También podéis escribir para contarme cualquier cosa relacionada con el curso (cotilleos incluidos) ;-). En definitiva, que seguimos en contacto aunque no en clase.

Os deseo que os vaya muy bien.

Un saludo

Javier Aragón

Resultados definitivos (gr. miércoles)

Estas son las notas finales de las recuperaciones de septiembre. En caso de que detectárais algún error, sobre todo en las pruebas que ya teníais superadas en junio, dejad vuestro comentario.

Espero que el esfuerzo realizado os sirva de estímulo para seguir avanzando en el dominio de esta lengua tan útil y tan bonita.



Saludos a todos

Grupo de los lunes: notas

Ahora tenéis las notas en este vínculo . Dejad vuestras rectificaciones a cualquier error.

Enhorabuena a los que habéis aprobado (la mayoría) y ánimo a los que aún os queda algo por superar.
En general he encontrado un buen nivel en esta convocatoria. Se ve que habéis alternado chiringuito y estudio.

Un saludo a todos.
Javier Aragón

ALGUNAS notas grupo del lunes

Hola a todos:
como estaréis ansiosos de saber las notas, voy añadiendo las que tengo, que son pocas. Intentaré tener más de aquellos que se examinan mañana de la prueba oral.

Os recuerdo que, para poder hacer el oral, hay que tener el escrito aprobado.

Un saludo

Javier Aragón

Prueba Oral (grupo miércoles)

Pincha aquí para ver la lista de convocados. Las instrucciones para el examen oral son las mismas que en mayo y quedan descritas en la entrada anterior. Veréis que hay personas convocadas pero con casillas en blanco en sus notas; eso significa que el examen escrito correspondiente está aún sin corregir, por lo que pudiera resultar que a pesar de hacer el oral no esté superada la parte escrita del módulo.

Saludos y hasta mañana.

Oral jueves 3 de setp. Grupo de los lunes

Hola a todos:

para el examen oral del próximo jueves, debéis preparar un tema de cualquier unidad para hablar sobre él durante dos minutos aproximadamente. Luego, podré hacer dos preguntas sobre cualquiera de las otras unidades.

Aún no he corregido la mayoría de los ejercicios, por lo que puede que alguno se presente y luego resulte suspenso en el examen escrito.

La lista de los que han de presentarse es la siguiente:

17.00 Fernández Sánchez, Mª Teresa
17:05 Lobatón Soler, Verónica
17:10 Astorga Morano, Purificación
17:15 Martínez Villar, Olga
17:20 Varo Ugart, Mª Asunción
17:25 Portella Martínez, Gràcia
17:30 Carrasco Espinilla, Jennifer
17:35 Olivares Villalonga, Pilar
17:40 Cabrera Rodríguez, Amparo

NOTAS: Los alumnos que tengan que hacer varios módulos, sólo se presentarán al superior.
Si alguien cree que puede debe presentarse por no tener nota en el oral de junio y no está en la lista, por favor, comuníquelo para contrastarlo.

Un saludo

Javier Aragón

EXÁMENES DE SEPTIEMBRE

ATENCIÓN:
EN EL CALENDARIO DE EXÁMENES DE SEPTIEMBRE DE LA WEB DEL PROGRAMA "THAT'S ENGLISH!" HABÍA ERRORES , aunque ya se han corregido.

LAS FECHAS VÁLIDAS SON LAS DEL BLOG, ES DECIR:

EL DÍA 1 LOS EXÁMENES ESCRITOS Y EL DÍA 3 LOS ORALES.

Por favor, comunicadlo a otros que pudieran haber leído la información errónea.

Gracias
Los tutores.

Calendario de exámenes. Septiembre 2009

Estimados alumnos:
os ofrecemos el calendario de exámenes para septiembre.

Os anunciamos que la dirección de "That's English!" ha enviado una aclaración sobre las instrucciones de funcionamiento del programa en la que se dice que cualquier parte de un examen que esté aprobada, queda aprobada para la recuperación. Esto significa que en septiembre sólo os tendréis que examinar de aquellas partes que estén suspensas.

Quede claro que la tabla de puntuación que hay en el blog tiene carácter informativo y que puede tener errores, por lo que es muy importante que estéis informados de vuestras notas reales para saber qué parte tendréis que hacer en septiembre.

Buen verano y mucha suerte

Los tutores

Notas módulo 9

Aquí están las notas del módulo 9. Las comprobaciones sobre los mínimos se pueden hacer en el vínculo "puntuación detallada de exámenes" del blog.
Un saludo

Resultados M 3-6-9 (gr. miércoles)

Pincha en este vínculo para ver las notas.

Para cualquier aclaración, podéis dirigiros a mi a través de los comentarios del blog. Estaré pendiente durante un par de días.

Saludos, Nieves.

MÓDULO 6: NOTA (grupo lunes)

Ya están las notas del módulo 6.
Un saludo

MÓDULO 3: NOTAS

Aquí pueden consultar las notas.
Un saludo